A Grief Observed
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- Create Date：2021-05-19 08:51:47
- Update Date：2025-09-07
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- Author：C.S. Lewis
- ISBN：1444425609
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Summary
Written with love， humility， and faith， this brief but poignant volume was first published in 1961 and concerns the death of C。 S。 Lewis's wife， the American-born poet Joy Davidman。 In her introduction to this new edition， Madeleine L'Engle writes: "I am grateful to Lewis for having the courage to yell， to doubt， to kick at God in angry violence。 This is a part of a healthy grief which is not often encouraged。 It is helpful indeed that C。 S。 Lewis， who has been such a successful apologist for Christianity， should have the courage to admit doubt about what he has so superbly proclaimed。 It gives us permission to admit our own doubts， our own angers and anguishes， and to know that they are part of the soul's growth。"
Written in longhand in notebooks that Lewis found in his home， A Grief Observed probes the "mad midnight moments" of Lewis's mourning and loss， moments in which he questioned what he had previously believed about life and death， marriage， and even God。 Indecision and self-pity assailed Lewis。 "We are under the harrow and can't escape，" he writes。 "I know that the thing I want is exactly the thing I can never get。 The old life， the jokes， the drinks， the arguments， the lovemaking， the tiny， heartbreaking commonplace。" Writing A Grief Observed as "a defense against total collapse， a safety valve，" he came to recognize that "bereavement is a universal and integral part of our experience of love。"
Lewis writes his statement of faith with precision， humor， and grace。 Yet neither is Lewis reluctant to confess his continuing doubts and his awareness of his own human frailty。 This is precisely the quality which suggests that A Grief Observed may become "among the great devotional books of our age。"
Written in longhand in notebooks that Lewis found in his home， A Grief Observed probes the "mad midnight moments" of Lewis's mourning and loss， moments in which he questioned what he had previously believed about life and death， marriage， and even God。 Indecision and self-pity assailed Lewis。 "We are under the harrow and can't escape，" he writes。 "I know that the thing I want is exactly the thing I can never get。 The old life， the jokes， the drinks， the arguments， the lovemaking， the tiny， heartbreaking commonplace。" Writing A Grief Observed as "a defense against total collapse， a safety valve，" he came to recognize that "bereavement is a universal and integral part of our experience of love。"
Lewis writes his statement of faith with precision， humor， and grace。 Yet neither is Lewis reluctant to confess his continuing doubts and his awareness of his own human frailty。 This is precisely the quality which suggests that A Grief Observed may become "among the great devotional books of our age。"
Reviews
Matthew
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Raw honest grief
Jeremy Mueller
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C。S。 Lewis’ candor in this short book will serve any suffering saints who might not have the language for their grief。 I know few others that are able to put thoughts into words the same way C。S。 Lewis does。 He writes， “We were promised sufferings。 They were part of the program。 We were even told， 'Blessed are they that mourn，' and I accept it。 I've got nothing that I hadn't bargained for。 Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself， not to others， and in reality， not imagination C。S。 Lewis’ candor in this short book will serve any suffering saints who might not have the language for their grief。 I know few others that are able to put thoughts into words the same way C。S。 Lewis does。 He writes， “We were promised sufferings。 They were part of the program。 We were even told， 'Blessed are they that mourn，' and I accept it。 I've got nothing that I hadn't bargained for。 Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself， not to others， and in reality， not imagination。” Anyone who has experienced grief knows the ominous and persistent emptiness that greets them each morning they wake。 In the battle for hope， we find ourselves on the losing side time and time again。 And one of the more challenging aspects of grief is lacking the vocabulary to describe it。 If you are in a season of grief， pick up a copy of this book and find that vocabulary。 I trust the Lord will use it to help you process your grief and ultimately lead you into his loving arms…the arms of the everlasting God who promises to sustain you until his son Jesus returns at last to defeat sin， suffering， and death for good。 If you are not suffering， I encourage you also to pick up this book。 I trust it will aid your efforts of empathizing with those who are grieving。 。。。more
Irrelephant
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This isn't any sort of how-to or advice on survival。 It is， as it is called， merely an observation of the author's experience in grief。 His experiences as he was living through it， and his observations on what he wrote previously as he passed through time。 His own observations on his observations。 I think there is something here for anyone experiencing grief， regardless of religion。 I am not religious， but was not at all bothered by any religious aspects。 Really it feels more to do with a sort o This isn't any sort of how-to or advice on survival。 It is， as it is called， merely an observation of the author's experience in grief。 His experiences as he was living through it， and his observations on what he wrote previously as he passed through time。 His own observations on his observations。 I think there is something here for anyone experiencing grief， regardless of religion。 I am not religious， but was not at all bothered by any religious aspects。 Really it feels more to do with a sort of recognition。 Ah， yes， I understand this pain。 It is authentically written， I have shared some of these thoughts。 A true reflection without any attempts to fix anything can feel like a great relief。 It's an experience that sucks。 It just does。 There's no getting around it。 But it's also good to know that others have survived it。 It means you probably can， too。 。。。more
Tauri Laane
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I myself can not imagine being such deeply impacted by grief - but I have never lost someone that important too… But maybe the book gave me some perspective， that some people can grief this much。***“God seems so present when things are good， when we don't need him。 And so distant， when we really need him。”***“When somebody is acting out of character - than actually he is not， since we had a distorted presumption about his character。 People are never that what we think they are”。 I myself can not imagine being such deeply impacted by grief - but I have never lost someone that important too… But maybe the book gave me some perspective， that some people can grief this much。***“God seems so present when things are good， when we don't need him。 And so distant， when we really need him。”***“When somebody is acting out of character - than actually he is not， since we had a distorted presumption about his character。 People are never that what we think they are”。 。。。more
кай жук
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Sometimes， Lord， one is tempted to say that if you wanted us to behave like the lilies of the field you might have given us an organization more like theirs。 But that， I suppose， is just your。。。grand enterprise。 To make an organism which is also a spirit; to make that terrible oxymoron， a ‘spiritual animal。’ To take a poor primate， a beast with nerve-endings all over it， a creature with a stomach that wants to be filled， a breeding animal that wants its mate， and say， ‘Now get on with it。 Become Sometimes， Lord， one is tempted to say that if you wanted us to behave like the lilies of the field you might have given us an organization more like theirs。 But that， I suppose， is just your。。。grand enterprise。 To make an organism which is also a spirit; to make that terrible oxymoron， a ‘spiritual animal。’ To take a poor primate， a beast with nerve-endings all over it， a creature with a stomach that wants to be filled， a breeding animal that wants its mate， and say， ‘Now get on with it。 Become a god。 。。。more
Alisha
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Reading C。S。 Lewis is changing my life。
Ranee Mourlam
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This is another beautifully written piece of work。 C。S。 Lewis is raw and unfiltered with his grief， his questions， his reflections。 It's a piece that I think more should read to normalize asking the tough questions within Christianity。 This is another beautifully written piece of work。 C。S。 Lewis is raw and unfiltered with his grief， his questions， his reflections。 It's a piece that I think more should read to normalize asking the tough questions within Christianity。 。。。more
Bada Justine Valentine
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😩😨😨😨😨😨
Ashley Switzer
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A sad but thoughtful glimpse into a grief experienced。
Michael
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This is the book Lewis wrote after the loss of his wife。 It's a very personal reflection on grief and how he dealt with it。 I can't relate to it but I found it very thought provoking。 Highly recommend it。 This is the book Lewis wrote after the loss of his wife。 It's a very personal reflection on grief and how he dealt with it。 I can't relate to it but I found it very thought provoking。 Highly recommend it。 。。。more
Stephanie Carr
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I can imagine reading this any time grief feels overwhelming。 It does help。 I can imagine each re-read and each experience of grief feeling different， latching on to different lines of Lewis's journal journey。 But yes， it does help。 I can imagine reading this any time grief feels overwhelming。 It does help。 I can imagine each re-read and each experience of grief feeling different， latching on to different lines of Lewis's journal journey。 But yes， it does help。 。。。more
AnnaScott
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Like all of his other books， C。S。 Lewis didn't fail to impress me。 I am always surprised by his books， both at their depth of thought but also at their differences。 Every one that I have read has had its own distinct voice。 This one was particularly fascinating because it read more like a journal where Lewis processed his grief after losing his wife。 His step-son wrote in the introduction that， "It is true to say that few men could have written this book， and even truer to say that even fewer me Like all of his other books， C。S。 Lewis didn't fail to impress me。 I am always surprised by his books， both at their depth of thought but also at their differences。 Every one that I have read has had its own distinct voice。 This one was particularly fascinating because it read more like a journal where Lewis processed his grief after losing his wife。 His step-son wrote in the introduction that， "It is true to say that few men could have written this book， and even truer to say that even fewer men would have written this book even if they could， fewer still would have published it even if they had written it。" It was so emotional and raw， and it was very validating to see C。S。 Lewis asking some of the same questions and experiencing some of the same things that I do when I've grieved a loved one。 The only tricky point here is that it has to be read in the context of grief， because sometimes the line between his theology and what he's experiencing at the moment get a little blurry。 Overall it was a beautiful example of Christian grief。 。。。more
Nadha
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"I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow。 Sorrow， however， turns out to be not a state but a process。 It needs not a map but a history。"This book is a salve for a broken heart with beautiful， endlessly quotable prose。 It isa thorough examination of grief wherein we see C。S Lewis grieving in real time， while simultaneously self aware of his grief， it's impermanence and the lies it tells。 This book felt like a journey of many questions and few answers， spooling and unspooling the "I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow。 Sorrow， however， turns out to be not a state but a process。 It needs not a map but a history。"This book is a salve for a broken heart with beautiful， endlessly quotable prose。 It isa thorough examination of grief wherein we see C。S Lewis grieving in real time， while simultaneously self aware of his grief， it's impermanence and the lies it tells。 This book felt like a journey of many questions and few answers， spooling and unspooling the many threads that make up grief， faith and love。 The material would have been preachy， or pity inducing in a less skilled writers hands， but CS Lewis manages it masterfully。 。。。more
Julia Kipp
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This is so moving。 Lewis articulates the great loss he felt when the love of his life died。
Anne Wise
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Poi si torno all eterna fontana Then she turned back to the eternal fountain。 And so after all， it comes back to faith。 This book helped me。
Ethan Teo
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I first came across this book along with Julian Barnes' 'Levels of Life' - both raw essays on the grief of dealing with with the loss of their companions。 What I found intriguing from the outset was Barnes' noted atheism， and Lewis' clear religiousness。 I resolved to read both these accounts， at a time of my life where I myself was searching for articulation of my own sentiment - I was convinced that I would be struck by the universality of love， despite and without regard for the presence of Go I first came across this book along with Julian Barnes' 'Levels of Life' - both raw essays on the grief of dealing with with the loss of their companions。 What I found intriguing from the outset was Barnes' noted atheism， and Lewis' clear religiousness。 I resolved to read both these accounts， at a time of my life where I myself was searching for articulation of my own sentiment - I was convinced that I would be struck by the universality of love， despite and without regard for the presence of God。 I read the Barnes in April 2020 （under quarantine if I recall） and was touched very greatly by the sense of loss Barnes' work communicated - loss that I was still coming to terms with myself。 I finally picked up 'A Grief Observed' in May 2021， a year after I had finished with the Barnes。 The truth is， a year does significant things， or nothing at all， depending on the person。 A year allows sadness to ferment further， for memory and sentiment to be dulled by time， and for life to teach the person more （greater？） things。 For myself， the year brought me deeper pain and also （more recently） newfound happiness。 It also brought me， unexpectedly， and perhaps related to my literary adventures， a rediscovered faith in God。 As such， the person who read 'A Grief Observed' is in many ways different to the person who read 'Levels Of Life'。 Of course， I do agree that there was a certain sense of beauty in the articulation of love as experienced by both the atheist and the religious man - I would not deign to proclaim one inferior to the other。 But more than that - given the great sense of loss one feels upon the losing of a companion - I am more convinced than ever of the centrality of this to our human experience。 The value of having loved and been loved is one that enriches the soul so greatly， it gives us strength to face the fears （or worse， the torpidity） of reality day by day。 Love may not， however， always be what we expect it to be。 What remains is for us to discover the answer to this question。 。。。more
Keshia
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I took my time reading this book。 It's a lot to take in。 So much intensity to read about in the grief C。S。 Lewis went through。 Grief isn't the same for everyone， but this is a good source for someone who is questioning the "why" of it all。 Also a great look at what the full swing of grief might entail。 Definitely a recommended read。 I took my time reading this book。 It's a lot to take in。 So much intensity to read about in the grief C。S。 Lewis went through。 Grief isn't the same for everyone， but this is a good source for someone who is questioning the "why" of it all。 Also a great look at what the full swing of grief might entail。 Definitely a recommended read。 。。。more
Heidi
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Very good and very insightful。
Cathy
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I enjoyed this book but I have not ever read CS Lewis。 I picked one in a weird place to start。 I enjoy his speaking from the heart and I look forward to reading more from him。
Abbie
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I listened to the audiobook for "A Grief Observed" by C。S。 Lewis。 Author Madeleine L'Engle gives the foreword to the audiobook and shares her own grief of losing her spouse of more than 40 years。 "A Grief Observed" is Lewis' personal perspective of his grief journey as told from the pages of his own journals that he kept after his wife， Helen Joy Davidson died from cancer。 The book is a short 64 pages （one hour and 32 minutes on audio） but full of thoughtful and winding frustration and impatienc I listened to the audiobook for "A Grief Observed" by C。S。 Lewis。 Author Madeleine L'Engle gives the foreword to the audiobook and shares her own grief of losing her spouse of more than 40 years。 "A Grief Observed" is Lewis' personal perspective of his grief journey as told from the pages of his own journals that he kept after his wife， Helen Joy Davidson died from cancer。 The book is a short 64 pages （one hour and 32 minutes on audio） but full of thoughtful and winding frustration and impatience at God， himself and others for the loss of his beautiful love。 "And grief still feels like fear。 Perhaps， more strictly， like suspense。 Or like waiting; just hanging about waiting for something to happen。" "I think I am beginning to understand why grief feels like suspense。 It comes from the frustration of so many impulses that had become habitual。。。So many roads once; now so many culs de sac。"I recommend this book as it gives great insight into the author’s thoughts， feelings and vulnerability that i haven’t seen as much in his other books。 。。。more
Mandi Ehman
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I listened to this on the way to and from my 25-year-old cousin’s funeral。 She married her high school sweet heart 17 months ago after being diagnosed with terminal cancer， and he has loved her so well for the past year and a half。 As always， CS Lewis has such an incredible way of putting the human experience into words， and hearing those words now has given me an even deeper appreciation for both the way my cousin’s husband loved her and for the depth of his grief in the wake of her death。
Onyx Clarke
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This chronology of C。S。 Lewis's thoughts as he grieves for his wife are so raw。 That he didn't initially intend to publish it makes them that much more personal， unweakened by the unconscious filter of social admissibility。 For a man so religious， it's powerful to hear him call his own faith a house of cards and his own God a sadist。 As brief as "A Grief Observed" is， the coming to terms with his bereavement can be so tangibly felt from violent agony to the peace of acceptance。 His final reflect This chronology of C。S。 Lewis's thoughts as he grieves for his wife are so raw。 That he didn't initially intend to publish it makes them that much more personal， unweakened by the unconscious filter of social admissibility。 For a man so religious， it's powerful to hear him call his own faith a house of cards and his own God a sadist。 As brief as "A Grief Observed" is， the coming to terms with his bereavement can be so tangibly felt from violent agony to the peace of acceptance。 His final reflection brings new value to the security one can feel in not understanding the full workings of the universe。 。。。more
Juan de Dios Reyes
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Un libro de una gran sensibilidad。 Me impresiona la forma en que es capaz de transmitir el proceso de su pena que creo es muy similar en cualquier persona que haya sufrido una pérdida similar。 Mucho se habla en otros comentarios que he leído o escuchado a propósito de esta obra， de cómo esta pena， esta tristeza， esta mutilación， afecta su fe en Dios; incluso algunas personas censuran que lo cuestione。 No lo veo así。 Será porque no soy particularmente religioso， pero no es lo que siento más impor Un libro de una gran sensibilidad。 Me impresiona la forma en que es capaz de transmitir el proceso de su pena que creo es muy similar en cualquier persona que haya sufrido una pérdida similar。 Mucho se habla en otros comentarios que he leído o escuchado a propósito de esta obra， de cómo esta pena， esta tristeza， esta mutilación， afecta su fe en Dios; incluso algunas personas censuran que lo cuestione。 No lo veo así。 Será porque no soy particularmente religioso， pero no es lo que siento más importante en el libro y en sus tribulaciones。 Es importante - no lo niego - pero lo trata de una manera personal y asumiendo que no le es posible explicarlo por lo que se queda con su Fe （y lo pongo en mayúsculas intencionalmente） más allá de las dudas。 Su dolor en tanto， es palpable y presente。 。。。more
Mamikie Mmky
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I didn't think it was possible to love C。S。 Lewis even more than I love him already。 I'm beginning to Joy Davidman too。 Definitely worth reading。 Especially if you are processing the loss of a loved one。 Above all read it if you love C。S。 Lewis。 I didn't think it was possible to love C。S。 Lewis even more than I love him already。 I'm beginning to Joy Davidman too。 Definitely worth reading。 Especially if you are processing the loss of a loved one。 Above all read it if you love C。S。 Lewis。 。。。more
Jonathan Crabb
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I was thinking about writing a book on the topic of grief， and a friend recommended this book to me。 I have read most of Lewis' books， but this one had never made it into the to-read pile。 What a mistake that was。 This is probably my favorite book on the topic of grief for several reasons。 - While the book is well written and highly cogent， it very much appears to be the personal journal of a man grieving the death of his wife。 In that way， this book can serve as a book of wisdom as you watch a I was thinking about writing a book on the topic of grief， and a friend recommended this book to me。 I have read most of Lewis' books， but this one had never made it into the to-read pile。 What a mistake that was。 This is probably my favorite book on the topic of grief for several reasons。 - While the book is well written and highly cogent， it very much appears to be the personal journal of a man grieving the death of his wife。 In that way， this book can serve as a book of wisdom as you watch a good man wrestle with many different elements of sorrow。 My favorite way this manifests is for example when Lewis writes something angry and highly suspicious of God' goodness， and the next page he states "I probably didn't mean that last night"- The book doesn't hold back on any conclusions that grief naturally brings on。 Rather than resting in platitudes like "She is in a better place"， this book charges right at these statements and says that's garbage。 It then realistically works though how Lewis resolved it。 It isn't sold as a blueprint of how others should do anything， but it is very vulnerable in how it shows how Lewis coped。- Lastly the book is darkly funny in spots。 Not only does it make you want to hang out with CS Lewis， but it makes you want to have had a chance to hang out with Lewis and his wife Joy to see them interact。 It must have been something to see， and in that it does set forth an example of how good a marriage can be。Great book by CS Lewis and highly recommended。 This book is one to revisit as I grow older。 。。。more
Cathy
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I added this to my audible list months ago and then avoided it。 My father passed away and I have been moving through grief at a snail’s pace。 I needed this book。 I listened to the audible version and I did not care for the reader but it may have been more of a personal preference where I would have preferred a female reader。 I have no spoilers or quotes because I feel each reader will experience the author’s observations differently。 I only know that were words that triggered tears because they I added this to my audible list months ago and then avoided it。 My father passed away and I have been moving through grief at a snail’s pace。 I needed this book。 I listened to the audible version and I did not care for the reader but it may have been more of a personal preference where I would have preferred a female reader。 I have no spoilers or quotes because I feel each reader will experience the author’s observations differently。 I only know that were words that triggered tears because they hit the my heartbreak on the mark。 Grief is a personal journey and suffering comes in so many forms。 His words describing how they are gone but never gone seems to sink deep within me。I will read this in book in the physical because I will want to take notes if only for my personal journals but I may also return to edit this review with quotes。 。。。more
Rachel
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Of the numbered books of the world， this book is among the top ten for honesty。 There is no real critique I believe that can be offered of this kind of work。 It is just an honest treatment of a real pain。 It does not shy away from anything。 It happened。 And it was human。 And it is still happening， to all of the rest of us， all the time。
Benjamin Cornwell
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The most interesting part about this book was that it was a journal style approach where Ol' C。S。 sort of wrote in a way that he knew people would read it。 I enjoyed how digestible it was， but as a 29 year old with no real tragedy in my life to speak of it was difficult to empathize。 The preamble by Lewis's "step son" （I suppose） was the saddest part to me。 It seems they struggled with the fact that Lewis was so revered and I got the vibe that he wanted to resent him。 The most interesting part about this book was that it was a journal style approach where Ol' C。S。 sort of wrote in a way that he knew people would read it。 I enjoyed how digestible it was， but as a 29 year old with no real tragedy in my life to speak of it was difficult to empathize。 The preamble by Lewis's "step son" （I suppose） was the saddest part to me。 It seems they struggled with the fact that Lewis was so revered and I got the vibe that he wanted to resent him。 。。。more
Essie
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On grief， I felt a kindred soul。 However， I did not find a connection on the religious front， and it was quite heavy in this regard and not easily abstracted away。 Still， I tried， and I took away the parts that resonated with me。
Leslie Rencher
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Excellent
Reference
google book https://www.google.com/search?tbm=bks&q=A Grief Observed
hathitrust digital library https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/ls?q1=A Grief Observed&field1=ocr&a=srchls&ft=ft&lmt=ft
The British Library https://bll01.primo.exlibrisgroup.com/discovery/search?query=any,contains,A Grief Observed&tab=LibraryCatalog&search_scope=Not_BL_Suppress&vid=44BL_INST:BLL01&lang=en&offset=0